Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
