Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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