Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Two words: nipple clamps
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