normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
