so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
