chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
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i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
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And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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