I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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