I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize