You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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