her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i now understand why vodka
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
