you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
