I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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