So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize