i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
