he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
