She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
