Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
