Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
