It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I came so hard my ears popped.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
