I'm gonna have a badass scar
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
