I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize