Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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