talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
