who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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