Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
