loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
and i looked up. we had an audience...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
