I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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