i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
