i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
