i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
