I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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