we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it was like eating out sand paper
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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