She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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