i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
