New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
how does that bad decision feel?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
