I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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