So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
