No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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