And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
