The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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