Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
