Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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