I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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