Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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