oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
