she kept yelling 'call me bella'
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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