So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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