im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
