what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
