Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
