Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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