you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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