I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
