You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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