She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
pray to the hookup gods
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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