I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
