and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
