absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
