what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize