I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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