What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
