This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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