Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
